


Fight for you

by travellinggiraffe



Category: Home and Away (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:28:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24680014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/travellinggiraffe/pseuds/travellinggiraffe
Summary: After almost 3 months in the bay without Alex, dealing with everyone else's drama's, Willow begins to see her own priorities in a total new light.
Relationships: Willow Harris/Alex Neilson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 53





	Fight for you

**Author's Note:**

> Feel like this is a bit too wordy, but Willow goes looking for Alex after Jasmine makes her realise she should have fought harder.

Alex was sitting in her fairly bland consultant’s office signing off on some paperwork. Her shift seemed like it had begun about 3 days ago although she’d only been here 7 hours. This was the first opportunity she had had to sit down after dealing with 2 car accidents, a stabbing and a patient suspected of having a stroke. It had just been another day in the emergency department. The office was so quiet, peaceful almost, with the door shut compared to the department outside. With the door shut it blocked out all the noise of the beeping machine, ringing phones and general hubbub in the corridors, it was almost like she wasn’t at work at all. Just for a moment at least. There was just the hum of her computer and the voices inside her head, which were particularly loud today. She sighed at the sight of the paperwork she still had to deal with. She was tired and the words on the page felt like they were jumping around as she tried to read them. She wasn’t sure what it was about today, but she kept thinking of Willow. Had she done the right thing? Had she really walked away from someone who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with because Willow hadn’t wanted to settle down right now? Was it really all about Willow or had Alex really been running away from confronting her own fears? Yes her 10-year relationship had ended in a similar fashion but was Alex just using that as an excuse? Was Alex trying to sabotage things so she didn’t get her like last time? Was she really running away from her own fears, perhaps of not finding someone to settle down with? Well if she was it hadn’t worked because this feeling hurt just as much if not more than the last time. She loved Willow, like really loved her and missed her like someone had ripped something out of her that she was never going to get back.

Willow knew she was cutting it fine. She was pretty sure Alex would only have a week or so left of her contract at the hospital she was going to in Brisbane, but she had to try. It had been the hardest couple of months in Willow’s life. She really had loved Alex, in fact she was the love of Willow’s life. Willow had never felt about anyone the way she had felt, still felt about Alex and being in the bay had not been an easy place to be since she left. Bella had gone into a mental health rehab centre; Colby had realised that he’d needed time to fix himself without Bella around and Jasmine…. Willow knew she was going through a really tough time. Grief was different for everyone, but Jas had definitely taken the brunt of it out on Willow. Every time Willow tried to help her struggling friend, Jas took it as them talking behind her back and plotting against her. Jas kept bringing up Willow’s break up with Alex to try and hurt her as much as Jas was obviously hurting, but now it had gone a step further with Jas sacking her from the gym, apparently just out of spite. So, while lying in bed last night remembering everything Jas had thrown at her and considering her own grief at a completely broken heart, she made the decision to go and fight for Alex. She had to go to Brisbane. And almost as soon as she had made the decision, before she could talk herself out of it, she was up and headed for the airport to get on the next fight she could get.

Alex could feel the hurt, the heartbreak, the tears in the back of her eyes threatening to break out yet again. Why couldn’t she let this go, why was it so dam hard. Closing her eyes as if that was the way to stop it, she took a couple of deep breaths and tried to switch her mind back to other things. She had made the decision to walk away, to not give Willow opportunity to see if it would work out, and she was the one who needed to live with that. She didn’t have the right to cry or be upset. At least it didn’t feel like it. Just as she settled back into her paperwork, her tears subsided for now at least, her pager went off on the desk, vibrating around in a little circle as it did so. Great, she thought, something to distract her from all this, and something to get out of her office. She instantly grabbed it to stop it moving around and upended it to see who had paged. But it wasn’t an emergency as she had expected but instead an extension number which was unusual on her pager. Ringing the number displayed on the tiny pager screen she was even more surprised to find it answered by the hospital’s front reception desk.

“Sorry to disturb you Dr Neilson, I’m just letting you know there is someone in reception looking for you if you’re free?” the polite receptionist explained on the other end of the phone.

“Oh, okay, no not a problem. I’ll be right down.” Alex was now confused. Who an earth would be looking for her, let alone waiting down in main reception? But she thought whoever it was, it gave her a good excuse to also grab herself a coffee, grabbing her cream and blue reusable coffee cup and heading downstairs.

The hospital was much bigger than Willow was expecting as she approached the main entrance. But that was hardly surprising, Brisbane served a far bigger population than northern districts. Willow hadn’t really slept in, well she wasn’t sure how long, and she now completely how Alex felt when sleep deprived. She also had been too nervous to eat, butterflies fluttering around in her stomach with the nervousness she felt. She felt it rumble as she approached the hospital entrance, but she still couldn’t face food. She needed to see Alex first. Willow noticed her hands were shaking so much, that she was really struggling to stop them. She could feel her heart racing in her chest with anticipation and fear. She was trying so hard on trying to focus on what to say to Alex that she had pretty much blocked out all the noise from people coming and going in the large high ceilinged atrium of the fairly modern hospital. Though it is a much bigger place than Northern districts, she could see Alex fitting in perfectly here. What if Alex didn’t want to even see her, didn’t want to talk to her? What if she had left it too late and Alex had moved on? Willow was scared Alex would reject her again, she was scared of what she would do if she did? But she had to try. She would regret it with every fibre of her body if she didn’t fight for this.

Alex emerged out of the lift in reception to the usual commotion of people coming and going into the hospital. People looking lost while looking for their outpatient appointments, people clearly here visiting friends and family, some of whom may have been here for many weeks. There were the usual groups of medical staff chatting and the queue of people at the 24 hour coffee stand. Alex was about to head to reception to ask who the person who was waiting for her was when she saw her. There was no mistaking who was waiting for her or the owner of that long brown hair. Alex froze. “Willow” she whispered to herself.

* * *

Willow wasn’t even sure if Alex was going to show. The receptionist had rung her and told her there was someone waiting for her but didn’t say if Alex was going to come down. She could be stood here for nothing. Perhaps Alex would catch a glimpse of her and go back to work without even a word. Maybe she should have just stayed in Summer Bay and tried to get over her. Just as she was considering leaving, Willow turned round to see the beautiful brunette stood across the crowd of people in reception. She was even more beautiful than Willow had remember but both frozen to the spot it was like time had completely stood still. “Alex,” was all she could whisper.

Was she dreaming? Was that really Willow stood in front of her, in her hospital in Brisbane, and more to the point what an earth was she doing here? They had had almost no contact since Alex had left, leaving just a note on Willows pillow. Something Alex regrets to this day. Getting up, leaving her sleeping girlfriend a note on her pillow after a night of beautiful, sensual sex, and not even saying goodbye was definitely not a good way to leave things. And a pretty reliable way to not to hear from them again. It was the coward’s way out, confirming that she had almost certainly running away, a very Alex reaction to her fears. Why deal with them when you could run? But now seeing Willow standing there in front of her, every single feeling she had for her came flooding back. It was like she had never left, like she’d seen her just a couple of days ago, and definitely like she was still totally in love. Alex was frozen to her spot. Willow was the last person she was expecting to see today, if ever again. So, to now see the gorgeous trainer stood in front of her she was completely stunned. What was she doing here?

“Hey,” Willow said gently as she approached the doctor, stethoscope around her neck, wearing a pretty navy blouse with little flowers on it. Her hair tied up as it often would be for work exposing her neck.

“Willow,” Alex managed to get out despite her compete shock.

“I know you’re working, and you’re probably super busy, but I wondered if we can talk. If not now maybe when you finish? I have some things I need to say” Willow managed to ask. She almost felt like she was going to vomit. If her heart was beating fast before, it was racing now. It felt like it would beat out her chest completely as she waited for Alex’s answer.

Alex had no idea what to do or to say. It had been almost 3 months since she had left summer bay, and although she has thought of Willow a lot, she hadn’t actually spoken to her and she had assumed that Willow would hate her. So, what was she doing here and what an earth did she want to say? Was it worth the risk of opening up that wound again, potentially just to make it hurt again?

Willow could tell from the look on Alex’s face that she was apprehensive. She’s seen that look before. When Willow kissed her at the gym, when Alex said she couldn’t take the risk, when Willow tried to convince her to take the leap of faith. She was protecting herself, her heart perhaps but Willow could also see that she was tempted. That her brain was saying no but Alex’s heart had other ideas.

“Please Alex, I think you at least owe me the chance to talk after the way you left. I don’t want to fight with you I just want to talk,” Willow tried again.

Alex sighed, Willow was right, she didn’t leave in the best way and if Willow didn’t want to fight then maybe it could be a positive chat. She couldn’t deny that she would really like Willow back in her life, even just as a friend.

“Okay sure, not here though.” Alex finally conceded. “I finish work in about an hour. Why don’t we go for a drink and talk when I’m done? I’ll text you a nearby bar where we can meet,” Alex suggested.

“Thank you,” Willow said genuinely, getting a smile in response from Alex. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

* * *

“Hey, thanks for meeting me,” Willow said as Alex joined her at the table in the quiet bar Alex had suggested.

“You were the last person I was expecting to see, I must admit. How did you find me?” Alex asked.

“Well I knew which hospital you were coming to work at, I just had to hope you were still here and I hadn’t missed you before you started another contract,” Willow admitted.

“Why would you want to find me?” Alex asked. “The way I left, the way things were, I never thought I’d see you again.”

“I won’t lie, when I found that note on my pillow, I did hate you for a while. That you had left like that. You broke my heart Alex, and that really hurt,” Willow admitted. “But the last two and a half months have been the hardest of my life, and I have had my whole world put into perspective. I now can totally see what’s important and my priorities.”

Alex smiled a sad smile. She knew she had broken Willow’s heart, she had broken her own too.

“I loved you Alex, more than I have ever loved anyone. I still love you. I know when you left, we had completely different ideas of what our futures would look like, and you were right we weren’t ready. But being in the bay the last couple of months, seeing my family suffer, argue, fall out, grieve, and it made me realised how stupid I had been to ever consider not having you in my life. You were and are the best thing that ever happened to me. I want to make a life with you Alex, maybe a little more slowly than you wanted, but doesn’t mean I don’t want the same eventual outcome.”

Alex was slightly apprehensive. She had heard this before from Willow and they had ended up in very different places. Therefore, she once again was wondering what had changed? But Willow had said she’s realised her priorities so maybe something had changed.

“I shouldn’t have left like that. I didn’t know what else to do. Saying goodbye felt too hard, like if I had to say it out loud I wouldn’t be able to walk away. Not after you giving me that final hope, and our night together. But I also think I was making excuses, running away from my fears as well. You saying you didn’t want to settle down, instantly put my barriers up to thinking that you’d never want to settle down and so it wasn’t going anywhere. Because that’s what’s happened to me before. You don’t stay in a 10 year relationship and not think it’s going somewhere long term. I was so focussed on what I saw as my future I didn’t stop to consider that maybe you’d just need some more time to make those steps and that we could get there,” Alex tried to explain. Right now she felt ashamed and such a coward for the way she had treated Willow.

“What’s been going on in the bay? How is everyone doing? I left at a pretty rough time” Alex only spent 6 months in the bay but it being such a small place she felt as though she knew everyone pretty well when she left and they had certainly left a mark on her.

“It’s a mess, Bella had gone into a mental health rehab centre, Colby has recovered from his leg injury but has demons of his own to fix and deal with, and Jas, well Jas has fallen off the deep end. Her grief just doesn’t seem to get any better. I have been trying so hard to be there for her and support her and all she has done is thrown it back in my face. She’s been using our break-up as a way to hurt me, she sacked me from the gym and she won’t speak to me. If I’m honest without you in the bay, it really doesn’t feel much like home any more,” Willow confessed.

Alex looked over at Willow with a genuine sadness in her eyes. Willow reminded her of the Willow she’d sat with on the beach while Jasmine was missing. Her spark was gone, she was just lost I guess was the best way Alex could describe it. It really did sound like Willow had had it tough, but just because everything had gone wrong was not a reason to start something, they didn’t think would work 3 months ago when things were better.

“Wow, that really does sound messy. I’m sorry I upped and left amongst all that. I’m glad Bella is getting some help that she obviously needed. Colby needed a break too, so I’m glad he’s seen opportunity to help himself. But if I know you at all, I can’t imagine you would have been great to be around while heartbroken either?” Alex teased slightly. “I’m sorry things are so rocky with Jas. I really thought with time things would get better. Grief is a horrible thing though, which everyone deals with differently, and there is a limit to what you can do for someone if they don’t want help. I don’t think it is fair of her to use our breakup against you though. I’d be having words with her about that,” Alex gently smiled.

“I know, I thought time would help too, but if anything, it’s just made it worse. She is so unpredictable and angry. I mean I understand but I don’t think I can help her anymore. She might have been my best friend, but I just can’t.”

Alex reached over and gently placed her hand on top of Willow’s in support. Willow was so wonderful and cared so deeply about her friends who were much more like a family to her. To see her this despondent and defeated by it all really tugged on Alex’s heart strings. She was also worried for the beautiful brunette in front of her. If she has been supporting everyone else through their dramas, had anyone been supporting Willow?

“I can understand that. I’m sure you’ve done the best you could. And I bet if all of that’s been going on, there hasn’t been many people supporting you either?” Alex enquire, her worry now evident on her face.

“Irene has been great, as she always is. She can see Jasmines struggle too and reminds me it’s her grief talking not her, but it doesn’t always make it easier.”

“Of course not.”

“And I miss you,” Willow said quietly. “I shouldn’t have let you go Alex, I should have taken the leap and come with you. You said mortgage and stability and my brain freaked. They are never words that have ever been associated with my life and I think I was scared that I wouldn’t live up to your expectations. I wasn’t sure I could do it after my whole life being so up and down. But I was so wrong. Life without you is wrong. Yes, my family are in the bay, and that’s all I’ve ever really known is being with them. But meeting you changed my life, in ways I never could have imagined, and I want you, I want us, everything about it, the stability, the life together even the mortgage. I’ll do whatever it takes if I can just be with you?”

“You have no idea how incredible you are, do you?” Willow blushed at the compliment. “You’ve flown interstate, on a whim I assume by your lack of belongings, to find me, and to tell me it’s your fault we’re not together and to declare your feelings, which are pretty evident. You could never have disappointed me. You never had expectations to live up to, I never expected it to be this perfect dream, but I did want you to want what I exactly the same as I wanted at the same time, and that wasn’t fair. I turned your world completely on its head by you finding feelings for me and coming out without anything else. I genuinely did just want to give you a home, somewhere you felt like you always belonged and somewhere we could be happy. Especially after things with Irene’s court case and you realising how fragile your set up in Summer Bay could have been. But I didn’t explain it well. You are not the only guilty one in all this. I was so focussed on my future and how I wanted it to be that I wasn’t looking at the bigger picture. You were right we hadn’t lived together before, that you’d never had a secure place to call home, let alone the commitment of a mortgage and all that came with that. Of course, you were freaked out. So, I ran because it was easier than owning up to my own insecurities. It was easier for me to believe, despite your feelings, that you would never want what I wanted right now than to believe that you would get there with time. I was worried that you would end up hating me for dragging you away from the people you love when it didn’t work out without giving us a chance to even try. And as I didn’t hear from you after I left, I assumed I had hurt you too much by leaving and you’d never want to see me again. You have no idea how many times I have typed you a message, only to delete it, believing you didn’t want to hear from me. I never stopped loving you Willow, my feelings never changed. I’ve spent most of the last 3 months trying to convince my brain to stop thinking about you. I thought it would hurt less the way I did it. How wrong could a woman be,” Alex tried relieving some of the blame and almost guilt she could see in Willow but admitting her own mistakes too. Alex also felt some relief by finally being honest with Willow. She was scared of commitment after what happened with her ex. Scared of getting hurt, of wasting time in a relationship that ultimately went nowhere, and she was scared of ending up alone. None of that was Willow’s fault or even anything to do with Willow but having her know some of the reasons why she left felt like a weight lifted.

Willow couldn’t help but smile at Alex’s declaration. Alex still felt the same way about her as she did about Alex. And as much as she was angry at the way Alex had left, Alex opening up as to why she did it, helped somehow. She reached across and encased Alex’s hands sitting on the table with her own. It was a simple move but somehow felt much more than it had since the first day Alex had kissed her.

“So, what happens now?” Willow asked quietly. There was still a risk that Alex would say she didn’t want to rekindle their romance.

“Well my contract here is almost up, and I had no reason to stay in Brisbane.”

“So, where’s your next contract?” Willow was tentative. She knew it could be anywhere. Was she really ready to move across the country?

“In Sydney, so only a couple of hours from the bay”

“Really?” Willow couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah, and I kept my word and looked for a more permanent role. This is a permanent job.”

Alex smiled in replied. Willow wanted to leap up and give Alex the biggest hug ever, kiss her or something but she restrained from doing so.

Alex spotted Willow’s hesitation,

“Come with me. Let’s find a place together. I’m not saying let’s get a mortgage right now, there is so much time for that, but let’s create a home together, let me show you what stability can feel like. I love you Willow and I want to be with you.”

Willow smiled one of her huge smiles, one of the things Alex had fallen in love with in the first place. She now leaned off the stool she had been sitting on this whole time, hands still covering Alex’s, and felt the soft, smoothness of Alex’s lips as they connected with her own. It was the best thing Willow had felt since the last night they had spent together. Alex felt Willow’s lip touch her own and she instantly felt herself relax. She freed one of her hands from Willow’s grasp and reached up to stroke her cheek as she deepened the kiss slightly. Only then did Alex remember where they were and slowly broke it off, resting their foreheads together as they had always done when they were intimate.

“I’ll take that as a yes?” Alex Whispered.

“A home and some stability with you couldn’t sound more perfect,” Willow quietly replied. “I love you.”

They sat in that bar pretty much until the staff threw them out, talking just like they used to. Like nothing had ever happened. Like nothing had changed. They didn’t have a plan, Willow didn’t even know where she was going to stay tonight. But neither of them felt the need for one right now. Knowing that they had each other was enough for now. The details could work themselves out.


End file.
